1 Aug 2011

想抓住点什么

我想要全世界的幸福美好
我的为什么这么少
唉,贪心真的不好

为什么有些事做着做着会忽然失去意义
我是不是特别傻啊
干的净是傻事情

为什么女人总喜欢想这么多
下辈子我要当个男的
不拖泥带水
不优柔寡断
不胡思乱想

I hate myself

25 Jun 2011

总有时间自怨自艾

你问我,我也问你,
一个讨厌自己的人,如何能走下去?

16 May 2011

终于打开了 终于可以说自己想说的话了

人是会变的,有些朋友不是一辈子的,早断早好。
真的不知道自己为什么这么脆弱,不敢把内心的感觉说出来。很想很想告诉他们,我其实很敏感,我其实是个女的。我根本不是好脾气的什么玩笑都可以开都不在乎的,言语的杀伤力太大了。
其实我没什么,我只是为失去一个朋友而难过。我想我肯定也做得不够好。其实我真得不是什么好人,所以没有朋友算我活该。
我觉得一切都该步入正轨了。你的世界你的朋友都离我很远。我意识到其实自己永远是可以被取代的,我意识到我们根本太不同了,没什么理由做朋友。
所以我发誓,不再踏入别人的世界,孤独不苦。

30 Apr 2011

该死的寂寞

我的精神力量果然不够强大。
学习吧学习吧学习吧。

18 Apr 2011

Get busy living or get busy dying

不敢自杀,就等意外吧,就等老天爷带我走吧
老天爷来之前,先忙着活吧。
怎么活着好,怎么能让自己开心,你自己清楚。

1 Apr 2011

So you made a mistake. So what?

So you made a mistake. So what? Even if that means you're not as clever as the other students, so what? Does this mean you don't have a future and that you can just go and kill yourself? No!!! It simply means you have to work twice as hard as other people! If you admit that you can never catch up, then you're done! You have no reason to continue living then, because you have no courage at all. Other people may not think highly of you, but you cannot deny yourself. 'cos if you do, then everything's over for you.

If, as you have guessed all along, you are not as clever, then work harder. Make full use of your time. Don't make phone calls all the time begging for the so-called "understanding". Yes other people may be willing to grant you that, then what? This is your life, which you should have control over. 你不能靠别人的同情别人的理解而活着,你应该努力成为你自己想成为的人。

If you are not stupid, then work hard. If, unfortunately, you are, then you need to, you have to, work harder. That's the only way to make up for your lack of intelligence. What is wrong here? Do you not want to be someone knowledgeable and useful? Do you not want to make money and improve the living standards of your family? Do you not have pride?

Yes you do! You have pride! That means you cannot even afford to fall behind. So don't! The only way for you to catch up is to work harder, because you know that if you spend one more second complaining, others are using that time to improve themselves. Then the gap between you and the others are just going to get wider and you'll lose even more confidence! Is that something you want to see? NO!!!!!!

If you want to keep your pride, you have to catch up and be better! The only way to achieve that is to work harder. You now have two choices for using your time, one is to sit there thinking over and over again how useless you are and planning how to kill yourself; the other is to work hard. If you choose number 1, then you'll be a loser forever. You'll never be able even to hold your head up when you pass by others. But if you choose number 2, there's a great possibility that you can catch up and become a better person! You can gain confidence! You can spell out your name clearly without worrying that you might be laughed at. Now THIS is what you want.

What has happened has become the history and you can never turn back time. What you have is NOW. At NOW you are the master of yourself. You have full control over your direction. After the analysis of your situation, you have to realize that the only choice you have is to work hard NOW.

Please! Make up a plan and improve yourself. This is the only chance left for you to feel better about yourself. Admit it. You need to do well in your exam. You need to be able to do every question. You need to be better than others. You need to excel. These may sound superficial, but these are exactly what you need to make yourself feel better. So go and do anything you can do grab them!



Now you need to be very clear of your goal. You want to feel confident and you want to assure yourself that you are every bit as good as the other Chinese students, so you want to do well in your finals to pull up your score. You want to feel happy during holiday, so you want to make sure your exam goes smoothly, so you want to be able to do every question, so you need to be clear of every concept and do as many questions as possible, so you need to plenty of time to focus on your study, so you need to plan your time wisely and try not to waste any, so you need to minimize your time for regretting and complaining about the past, because let's face it, you live in NOW, and regretting and complaining about the past is just useless and thus a waste of time which can be saved.


Plan your time wisely for these 4 weeks. Try to have time both for understanding all the basics and for practising. The more you prepare, the greater the possibility you'll be able to answer every question in your final paper, and therefore the greater the possibility that you'll be happy and confident. On the contrary, the more you complain, the less you prepare. The less you complain, the more you prepare, since your fixed amount of time is divided between complaining and preparing.

Conclusion: The less I complain, the more I prepare, the greater the possibility that I'll be happier in my holiday! SO I know what I should do now.