CCA EXCO Election

I'm really quite shocked by the results. I mean it will only be reasonable to reject me when they have a better substitute. Well, by this I don't mean that the guy was worse… I do admit that almost everyone has much greater knowledge than me. But then, if that's the only factor that determines whether one's qualified, I would certainly think it's biased. I know I can't do well in both speech and Q and A session. I guess he must have shown great enthusiasm. I'm weaker. But even though I can't be convinced if the post I'm running for is given to someone who in my opinion, didn't really attend much sessions. Well, again maybe I'm mistaken. Maybe he was already known to all during high school. This, to me, is really funny. Obviously I don't know as many people as he do. Yes, I am not a Singaporean. Yes, I look quite inefficient. Maybe these are the reasons why I'm outweighed by him, whose intended post is not even the one I'm running for.

So this leads me to think again. I mean, given all the frustration I'm having now, I have low expectation that I can succeed. Let me examine some factors of my failure. If anyone else is elected, I would say the biggest failure is my disappointing presentation skills and lack of preparation. But now to me the biggest problem is probably not being known or trusted widely. Yes, as an anti-social Chinese, I can't dream to be trusted. The irony is, whatever I've done isn't valued. It's really not a valid reason if anyone tells me that he's selected because he had shown potential during high school.

I also feel sorry for my classmate. He's really committed. He has done so much. Again he failed maybe because he's not liked widely.

I've already noticed that I'm not to integrate in this Singapore society, because I'm not capable, or be trusted. I feel this when I do my project work with my group members.

I don't want to say too much. Today I'm quite gentle. 但是我上网骂人是迟早的事。呵呵。我靠，会自杀的人我怕谁。靠，今天我打的英语所以没法在骂人上露一手。最近的经历让我一对我此次的失败无动于衷了。但别再惹我，我什么都不行，我起码能让那些我看不顺眼的人都跟我一起死。我自杀的话，绝对不会留你们在世上。哈哈