A depressing day

My ear hurts! My ear hurts!

After one whole year since I got my ear pierced, I finally tasted my own bitter fruit. My ears have not recovered yet, and god knows whether the possibility of me having healthy ears still exists. I wonder. Okay, cheer up cheer up. I must believe in myself.

Another day of depression. I got back my physics consolidation test papers. It was a disaster, in every aspect. The super low mark, the most blank paper, the little thinking I have done, and the non-existent effort I was supposed to have put in.

This reminds me of a poem I saw in the Boarding School washroom(strange, isn't it). Worry never solves a problem, it may even become a problem. So why worry?

Why worry? I ask myself. I'm still concerned about Mr. Tan's reaction, to a large extent, even after the more disastrous mark I got for J1 Block Test. I guess I'm just someone who tries, albeit often in vain, to give every one the best possible impression. I am just like this. I want to get every one to like me, which, in any case, is not possible for someone like me. I 'm not hardworking, not clever, not as kind-hearted as a girl should be. I like to shout. I'm vulgar. And then? I could make a long list of all my weaknesses. Still, my parents are always there to love me and support me.

I don't know why I'm so easily agitated and pressurized. Any little thing could bring me depress. I want my life to be smooth with no trouble, which, I guess, is never possible.

And, sadly, I've lost my point again.

H3 math is driving me bad. The lectures are difficult enough to confuse me and deprive me of my confidence to look at any of the tutorial questions. I keep having this feeling that I may not do well in my H3 exams, which is the most undesirable situation now. And I still have my SL project to concern about. Should I do one just for the sake of a slightly better profolio? Or should I just concentrate on my study? I know if I kill this idea, I should probably say goodbye to my US dream now. But even if I try, wouldn't I be more disappointed if I fail? Why no confidence?

Shit. So much for today. I still have to catch up with my tutorial.