选不到课，刷了又丢，为什么这么倒霉？
但这件事可能不是最让人难受的吧。还是老话说得好，做人永远都只能靠自己。你指望从别人那里得到什么？同情？帮助？你把你自己太当回事儿了吧。根本没有人在乎你的感受，就算你拿着扩音喇叭向世界宣扬你自己的痛苦，别人也不过是挠挠耳朵闲太吵罢了。
不可以这样，不可以失去对情绪的控制，那样就完了，那样你的每一秒钟都将失去意义了。为什么不懂得为自己的快乐而快乐，为自己的悲伤而悲伤，让别人的各种情绪意见都见鬼去呢？
选课什么的，就顺其自然吧。想想opportunity cost，就明白自己该如何安排时间了。如果清闲是必须的，那就好好利用自己的时间吧。
还是那句老话，塞翁失马，焉知非福？不能在我根本无法控制的事情上再纠结再浪费时间了。改正自己上学期的错误才是关键吧。
别让别人控制你的情绪。
27 Jan 2011
20 Nov 2010
16 Nov 2010
Or you just think that you are the sole representative of the truth?
I don't understand any of this.
I have absolutely no idea what Liu Xiaobo has actually done, or whether he really deserves a Nobel Peace Prize. This article in "The Economist" is suggesting that China is threatening all the western leaders not to attend the Oslo dinner. And because of the immense power China has over the world's economy, it is very likely that those countries that are "eager for business" will not take part in "this political game".
It seems to me that this author is criticizing a lot of people. China is, in his opinion, suppressing human rights by not releasing Liu Xiaobo. Western leaders, such as James Cameron and Nicolas Sarkozy, have to bow to China for the sake of their economy. It's as if the Chinese Communist Party resembles the Nazis.
To me, this article merely shows how hypocritical the westerners are. If they really put the human rights issue as their top priority, as they always claim, then why not just boycott China? Why not cut off their relationship with China as a protest of the so-called "abuse of human rights"? Because they can't! They have to deal with their economy problems before they can have any mood to join the "let's kick the Chinese out of earth" team.
This proves that in any country human right is nothing compared with money. This is harsh, but true. Then how can one blame China for imprisoning Liu, even if this really involves any "abuse of human rights"? Releasing him would most likely cause political instability which could take China's economy all the way back to the 1960s. No one could or should risk this. In fact, what the Chinese government has chosen to do is perfectly reasonable and helpful.
Surely you can talk about human rights any time you want when you are just this little guy whose main job is to write articles to feed himself. I completely understand. If you did not act as if you are a big supporter of human rights, who will read your article or pay you? But let's face it, if you were a leader of any country, you would only be able to come out with stupid plans by all the time talking about human rights instead of the economy.
I have absolutely no idea what Liu Xiaobo has actually done, or whether he really deserves a Nobel Peace Prize. This article in "The Economist" is suggesting that China is threatening all the western leaders not to attend the Oslo dinner. And because of the immense power China has over the world's economy, it is very likely that those countries that are "eager for business" will not take part in "this political game".
It seems to me that this author is criticizing a lot of people. China is, in his opinion, suppressing human rights by not releasing Liu Xiaobo. Western leaders, such as James Cameron and Nicolas Sarkozy, have to bow to China for the sake of their economy. It's as if the Chinese Communist Party resembles the Nazis.
To me, this article merely shows how hypocritical the westerners are. If they really put the human rights issue as their top priority, as they always claim, then why not just boycott China? Why not cut off their relationship with China as a protest of the so-called "abuse of human rights"? Because they can't! They have to deal with their economy problems before they can have any mood to join the "let's kick the Chinese out of earth" team.
This proves that in any country human right is nothing compared with money. This is harsh, but true. Then how can one blame China for imprisoning Liu, even if this really involves any "abuse of human rights"? Releasing him would most likely cause political instability which could take China's economy all the way back to the 1960s. No one could or should risk this. In fact, what the Chinese government has chosen to do is perfectly reasonable and helpful.
Surely you can talk about human rights any time you want when you are just this little guy whose main job is to write articles to feed himself. I completely understand. If you did not act as if you are a big supporter of human rights, who will read your article or pay you? But let's face it, if you were a leader of any country, you would only be able to come out with stupid plans by all the time talking about human rights instead of the economy.
4 Nov 2010
The probable direction I should follow in NTU
...That I may never have a solution to. But I'd say I'm starting to figure out how to reduce my anxiety now. I should work as hard as I can, just to be responsible for myself, for I may never have another opportunity to learn as an undergraduate. As for how the grading system would judge me, that's something I cannot control, and therefore something I should care less for...
2 Nov 2010
Take my life away
这几天看见什么都烦。在熬了无数夜考了各种试之后，依然没有一件事让我满意。昨晚为了那个对我来说难以理解的vector in geometry 和 vector in coordinate system，我盯着书一直看到早上5点。于是被我妈骂。是的，我是没有学习技巧。昨晚最应该做的是做几道题然后洗洗睡了。我犯了两个致命错误，钻牛角尖和熬夜。能说什么的？学习技巧到底TMD是什么？如果我做的事情都是错误的，那拜托了，让我被车撞死吧，让我被高空坠物砸死吧。如果我这种思想模式真的是TMD大错特错的话，那么上帝你能不能赶快把我从这世界删除了？何必让我活得如此累？然后看着一帮活着比我轻松的人从我身边走过，轻描淡写的告诉我，谁让你思维方式错误了呢？为什么你们的就是对的我的就是错的？凭什么考试总青睐你们的思维方式，而鄙视我的想法？
我受够了。Why live in this world as such a big big mistake? 老天爷，你看着我这么劳累地活着觉得好笑吗？你看着我和这个世界格格不入没有人能理解我你很舒服么？难道你让我出生的唯一原因就是想把我当一个笑话看吗？如果是这样，take my life away, would you? I don't want to live like this! I just want a simple life, that's all!
我受够了。Why live in this world as such a big big mistake? 老天爷，你看着我这么劳累地活着觉得好笑吗？你看着我和这个世界格格不入没有人能理解我你很舒服么？难道你让我出生的唯一原因就是想把我当一个笑话看吗？如果是这样，take my life away, would you? I don't want to live like this! I just want a simple life, that's all!
31 Oct 2010
活着很累
真的是很累。Calculus还没怎么搞懂，Programming就杯具了。不但在Midterm栽了跟头，Lab session拿到的分数也是低的难以想象。已经这么差了，还能怎么样？
But I can't give up. I've just got to face the obstacles and try to overcome them. That's so hard. My time is so limited everyday and I have tons of stuff to finish. I have troubles in catching up with most of the courses, and yet I am not practicing enough. Somehow I have to make a choice between how much sleep and how much study to sacrifice.
Life is all about struggles. I can't seem to make it out.
But I can't give up. I've just got to face the obstacles and try to overcome them. That's so hard. My time is so limited everyday and I have tons of stuff to finish. I have troubles in catching up with most of the courses, and yet I am not practicing enough. Somehow I have to make a choice between how much sleep and how much study to sacrifice.
Life is all about struggles. I can't seem to make it out.
16 Oct 2010
对不起
我想说对不起，因为我一直把错误归咎于你。我像一个更年期妇女一样，自己幻想一大堆的事情，然后谴责这个世界不按照我幻想的来，谴责你打破我的梦。
其实你没错，你很好的。你主动了解我，虽然是暂时的，但是很少有人会对我这么友好的。所以我对你有好感，不是你的错。
可是我被空虚蒙蔽了，我想要的东西太多了，我开始抱怨周围的人为什么不理解我，为什么不给我我想要的。我是如此的得寸进尺，我的想法是如此的幼稚而自我，我甚至都没去想想自己的动机是什么？做这件事的意义又是什么？
于是我不理智的删掉了MSN，我想象自己是个决绝的失恋少女。可笑吧？可是我真的这么想过，我总是把自己想象成可怜而受伤的形象，唉，亏我一直以为自己心智成熟呢，其实我无比幼稚。周围的人劝我别这么做，可是我总是觉得他们不是我所以不理解我，我觉得这世界只有我在支撑我自己。
其实我错了，我可笑的错了。如果我自己都不清楚我想要什么，我又怎么能要求你做出任何回应？我从来都没有做出足够的努力去了解你，又如何能要求你了解我？即使我说我喜欢你，那也只是一种暂时的好感，如果我对你都没有足够深的感情，我又如何能理直气壮的要求你对我做出一个回复？在我不断埋怨你不把我当一回事儿的时候，我是否真的付出过很多呢？
如果答案是否定的，那我只能说，我真的很可笑，总想不付出就得到收获。
更重要的问题是，我可以付出么？我有那个立场付出么？如果我付出了的话，我有勇气负责任么？
我不可以只是为了填补空虚而找一个人，也不可以只是想找个依靠。我一向都是想找一个我可以接受他的一切，并且他也可以接受我的一切的人。现在是这样吗？不是的，因为我不了解你，我不知道自己可不可以接受你的一切，所以我连追你的立场都没有。我不该拿感情当儿戏。我不该想当然。
综上所述，我现在唯一有权利做的事，就是在你的能承受的范围之内，慢慢的了解你，慢慢的搞清楚自己的想法。我不知道一周之内天天在MSN上找你聊是否为你带来了困扰。你应该是很忙的，忙学业，忙活动，忙休息。也许你已经给我过暗示了，但很明显，迟钝的我没有看出来。今天我一上线，你就下线了。你再一次上线时，就立刻下了，不知道是不是因为看到我在线。我老弟听我说了这些后说我特别多疑。是的，我真的很多疑。
现在我告诉你，我决定以后只在周四找你说话，毕竟周四打完游戏能轻松点吧。其余时间，我不能再烦你了，而且说实话，我每天要找一个无聊话题和你搭讪，也是很头疼的。
如果每周一次还是太多的话，那么希望我想你可能以后周四都不会上线了。哈哈，如果真这样，放心吧。I can take the hint.
我想说，我这么做，是因为我真的觉得你是很好很好的人，我对你有好感，所以我想了解你的想法，想离你近一些。但是我不会再有任何要求了。还是那句话，我都没有勇气负任何责任，怎么能苛求你？我不会再把自己弄得可怜兮兮然后把错误推在你身上，然后不断的纠结是否要把你从我的Contact List上移除了。
其实我写这么多，根本就不关你的事。就算我把错误算在你头上又如何？就算我删除了你又如何？你可能会冷笑三声然后对我说"I don't even care"。我很清楚，因为整篇文章都不关你的事，是我在劝我自己怎样用一种less self-centered view来梳理我自己的感情。你应该对此文一笑置之。可是，如果你万一介意我曾经这么自私的想过你的话，那么请接受我的道歉：真的对不起，整件事都是我的错。你是一个好人，是我在这所学校的第一个曾经愿意了解我的好人。
其实你没错，你很好的。你主动了解我，虽然是暂时的，但是很少有人会对我这么友好的。所以我对你有好感，不是你的错。
可是我被空虚蒙蔽了，我想要的东西太多了，我开始抱怨周围的人为什么不理解我，为什么不给我我想要的。我是如此的得寸进尺，我的想法是如此的幼稚而自我，我甚至都没去想想自己的动机是什么？做这件事的意义又是什么？
于是我不理智的删掉了MSN，我想象自己是个决绝的失恋少女。可笑吧？可是我真的这么想过，我总是把自己想象成可怜而受伤的形象，唉，亏我一直以为自己心智成熟呢，其实我无比幼稚。周围的人劝我别这么做，可是我总是觉得他们不是我所以不理解我，我觉得这世界只有我在支撑我自己。
其实我错了，我可笑的错了。如果我自己都不清楚我想要什么，我又怎么能要求你做出任何回应？我从来都没有做出足够的努力去了解你，又如何能要求你了解我？即使我说我喜欢你，那也只是一种暂时的好感，如果我对你都没有足够深的感情，我又如何能理直气壮的要求你对我做出一个回复？在我不断埋怨你不把我当一回事儿的时候，我是否真的付出过很多呢？
如果答案是否定的，那我只能说，我真的很可笑，总想不付出就得到收获。
更重要的问题是，我可以付出么？我有那个立场付出么？如果我付出了的话，我有勇气负责任么？
我不可以只是为了填补空虚而找一个人，也不可以只是想找个依靠。我一向都是想找一个我可以接受他的一切，并且他也可以接受我的一切的人。现在是这样吗？不是的，因为我不了解你，我不知道自己可不可以接受你的一切，所以我连追你的立场都没有。我不该拿感情当儿戏。我不该想当然。
综上所述，我现在唯一有权利做的事，就是在你的能承受的范围之内，慢慢的了解你，慢慢的搞清楚自己的想法。我不知道一周之内天天在MSN上找你聊是否为你带来了困扰。你应该是很忙的，忙学业，忙活动，忙休息。也许你已经给我过暗示了，但很明显，迟钝的我没有看出来。今天我一上线，你就下线了。你再一次上线时，就立刻下了，不知道是不是因为看到我在线。我老弟听我说了这些后说我特别多疑。是的，我真的很多疑。
现在我告诉你，我决定以后只在周四找你说话，毕竟周四打完游戏能轻松点吧。其余时间，我不能再烦你了，而且说实话，我每天要找一个无聊话题和你搭讪，也是很头疼的。
如果每周一次还是太多的话，那么希望我想你可能以后周四都不会上线了。哈哈，如果真这样，放心吧。I can take the hint.
我想说，我这么做，是因为我真的觉得你是很好很好的人，我对你有好感，所以我想了解你的想法，想离你近一些。但是我不会再有任何要求了。还是那句话，我都没有勇气负任何责任，怎么能苛求你？我不会再把自己弄得可怜兮兮然后把错误推在你身上，然后不断的纠结是否要把你从我的Contact List上移除了。
其实我写这么多，根本就不关你的事。就算我把错误算在你头上又如何？就算我删除了你又如何？你可能会冷笑三声然后对我说"I don't even care"。我很清楚，因为整篇文章都不关你的事，是我在劝我自己怎样用一种less self-centered view来梳理我自己的感情。你应该对此文一笑置之。可是，如果你万一介意我曾经这么自私的想过你的话，那么请接受我的道歉：真的对不起，整件事都是我的错。你是一个好人，是我在这所学校的第一个曾经愿意了解我的好人。
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