Some thoughts after the CCA exhibition

1st of all, I'm again depressed.

I now know that I'm only getting 12 hrs for two years serving in library. It sounds trivial,really. But it matters to me. I joined library last year because I heard that I can get 20 cip hrs per year. At the end of last year I was told it was 12 hrs per year. And now, omg, 12 hrs for two years. What can I say? I made this unwise choice myself, so I would have to abide all the consequences. I have to.

Again I'm creating a problem for myself. That's the situation and I can't change it. So really, why worry?

The 2nd thing that makes me frustrated is the comparison which I can't help making of me with others. I'm so weak. I'm nothing here. This really is not the place I'm meant to be. God loves jokes. Every body, except me, is a leader. Leadership, without which my US dream will forever remain a dream.

My CCAs do not need me. I know I can never go around and ask ppl to join my CCA. Or, at present, I can't. I have no confidence, nor support.

But indeed I'm lucky to have a friend who is willing to start an SL project with me, even though I'm not sure of doing it or not. Let me check things out over this weekend and make up my mind. I can't just hang around like this. I must do something.