不幸的一天

Today during my CCA, I was scolded again, and was then told that the crash part that I had been practicing for almost a month would be played someone else.

The reason was that I had blown up the new suspended cymbal part.

I didn't say anything. What could I possibly say? I had absolute no stand to comment on everything they did to me. Nor could I resist or defend myself.

I admit that I am stupid and not talented at all in music. And my joining band from the start was a mistake. I should have followed my dream and interest, instead of controlled rigidly by the cruel CCA mark. Up to this stage I could only taste the tragic effect of my stupid choice.

However, I wanna cry out. I could not stand it any longer. I hate them. From the bottom of my heart, I feel that few of the people in my section was kind-hearted.

I feel devastated.

Yet, I could go on. I firmly believe that.

I am always ready to fight with them. I try not to get nervous. They will insult me in whatever way them could, but that would make me even more persevering to hold on my believes.

让我爱你

在我的众多英文歌中，不经意间又听到了我小学时很迷恋的F4的声音。那时他们当时给星际宝贝唱的中文主题曲《Can’t help falling in love》，当时为了搞那个MTV，我不知跑了多少家音像店啊。

现在再重温时，仍然是觉得声音最温柔最有特色的是周渝民，那个当年迷倒无数少女的花泽类。哈哈，夸张一下。我当时可是把零花钱全部投在他们的专辑上了。现在那一堆堆碟大概是在我的房子某个角落享受蜘蛛网的覆盖吧。

冲动了一下，我又把《让我爱你》下载了。真好听。电视剧不怎么样，但这首歌挺经典。徐熙媛我就不说啥了，同性相斥。但渝民哥哥的声音啊，真是太纯了，让我感觉他是个长不大的有着长长睫毛的秀气男生（我怎么感觉我像大婶了）。感觉他是在用心唱歌，很富有感情的。论音色他是没有吴健豪出色的，不过我觉得他那种纯和诚能够感动我。真的是邻家大哥哥的感觉啊（我真是太花痴了）

注释

上一篇里的

从上至下

1. 英国Conway Stewart的邱吉尔型酪素塑料版本，全球限量40支

2.万宝龙限量的美国国旗 18K白金制造

3.派克现代使用丙烯酸树脂的各款Duofold
4.派克经典51型笔

新的几张

1.Conway Stewart百年纪念黄金版

2.万宝龙莫扎特珊瑚版

3.英国Conway Stewart使用树脂制造的各款产品

最近迷上了钢笔……

2006-11-14

I'm finally back to Xianyang…When I stepped down the little narrow plane and felt the air of my hometown, rushing all the way to the collecting luggage place, I was not really too excited. Then I

quickly found mine and rushed out of the airport, I saw my parents, my sister and my best friends Mengmeng , Mingming and Lulu. How happy I felt. And I was lucky, cos' I was the only one in the airport who was welcomed by good friends. Before I arrived, I don't quite believe I would cry. But at that time my tears couldn't control themselves and just flew down my cheeks. Then, affecting by me, my sister and my friends burst into tears too. My parents tried hard to stop themselves from crying.

My friend brought me a Liitle BuBu. Very Cute. I love it. Along with the bear was a scarf. Beautiful and warming. I really appreciated them. Just like our warming friendship. We went to Little Sheep for hot pots after that. We ate a lot. I must have intaken lost of fat. But I don't care.

My friends won't be able to stay with me for long cos' they've still got exams and they had to prepared for their High School Exam. I don't think the name is appropriated

In the first few days, I just went to my grandma's and ate many local delicious too. I felt like want to eat up the whole province. You just can't expect any Singaporean food to be tasted like that.

Today I went to see my teachers. My Math, Physics and English teachers. They can be considered as nice. We also visited our headmaster. He had once come to Xin Min and visited us.

A beautiful day. Many beautiful days. I just expect a simpler life, a striving life and… I don't know. Just not want to face it. Reality, I hate it, also like it.

2006-10-27

今天早上12点才从床上爬起来，然后就一直浪费时间……上了两个小时的网，网速死慢死慢的。20分钟才开一个网页。什么世道？电脑终于送去修了，不知道他将来的命运会不会比现在坎坷？深表同情……星期一要考快捷华文。我现在写作文如同便秘，连个屁都挤不出来。一提到作文就头疼，更别提什么报章报道，公函私函了。新加坡的华文教育让我很是郁闷啊。

这几天看天龙八部，由于华文水平的直线下滑，看书速度都死慢死慢了。再加上乔峰正在被陷害，我就憋了一肚子的气。换了本英文的HarryPotter看，觉得snape真TM贱。再加上看了二小时才看了一章多，对自己的语言能力极其质疑失望。郁闷到了极点。

现在的生活就是一场郁闷的电视连续剧，乌云散去重见天日的那一天仿佛还远在天边。Life is miserable. 最让人无奈的还是人心。人心真是不简单。无论如何都控制不了，改变不了。罢了罢了，那就别去改了。快要回去了，要见到永远站在我身边支持我的朋友了。感激她。在新加坡的日子，若是没有她，我要如何面对我身边的一切事实与虚伪呢？如何去平衡自己的心理，接受一切偏见呢？也许我这样的人是不讨人喜欢罢了。那只是他们瞎了眼。萌萌说的对，无法改变别人，难道还不能坚持自己么？坚持对的，微笑下去，做生活中的强者。

今天，我在说什么？晕了吧。感慨无限。

Anyway, why do we fall? we fall to learn to stand up again.

2006-12-21

I don't know why, but, but, but, something, may be my leaving for Singapore, has been preventing me from enjoying the happiness of staying at home…

I began to be more dependent on music, on Bon Jovi.

I think he's fabulous. Every song of his has been so impressive, so infectious. They cannot bring me to heaven. However, they bring heaven to me. My dreamland, making me realize that heavy metal seems so soft and smooth.

I used to fancy light and mild colours, such as sky blue and light green. Now I'm more prone to warm or even violent colours.

I like pure red, pure black, pure yellow and golden.

I'm changed.

Suddenly I found I was using all kinds of lies to deceive myself. I told myself I should rest for the whole holiday, then later I found out I was just looking for any excuse to release myself from my duty.

I used to hate myself for all my daydreaming. They seem so far from someone like me. I used to live in great self-deprecation.

Now I know something new.

Open the heart, so that sunshine can get in.

Deeply touched by Yu Dan and her talk. The greatest weapon in the world, is the serenity of mind.

Accept those your so-called unfairness, and try to improve yourself.

2007-01-27

Today I found every Chinese in the boarding school except my fellows from Xianyang is very rich. There's a boy whose father is a mayor. Others' parents are mostly businessmen. This reminds me of the ancient China, where women are to marry rich men, and at least the men must have more property than women. I used to think this thought is very vulgar in the eyes of youth nowadays. But a senior tells me it's not true. She said she was to find a boy who had to be richer than her. Money in this world was the most important factor. I was quite startled. She then told me there was a girl in her school who always liked rich men and spent his money.

This world itself is like this, I thought. When I was in primary school I believed in romance in soap operas. Now I am in secondary school I believe that true love can overcome all the obstacles. I despise things that are linked with money. But I wonder what I will be like in the future. The senior who told me those is going to be 19. She has a boyfriend. I think people will be mature after 18. But I don't think she's more mature than me. Or rather, I am the most childish one who have never experienced real life.

钢笔

刚刚来新加坡时，我就买了一支PARKER的钢笔。60新币，对我来说是一笔巨款了。笔很漂亮。而且我越看它越漂亮。很不幸的，我把它摔了。笔尖扭掉了，我深受打击，狠不下心买新的，就把那支笔用了一年多。感觉还好，还是很滑的。呵呵，最近想买新的。不知买什么牌子。人越穷，越喜欢买贵的。我就是有这种虚荣心理。不过还好。我还能控制住自己。准备最近去商店转转。其实刚刚上网查了下钢笔，有一种要去专门的钢笔店转转的冲动，不过还是忍住了。头脑发热时就要想想我的身份。一个学生而已，干吗去笔店转？60新币对现在我的来说是个极限了。看什么牌子呢？好的又卖不起。哎，我决定赶快买到一个，好让现在的心平静一下，别想东想西了