What do Westerners want by intentionally distorting the image of Chinese Government?

Things are not going well for the 2008 Beijing Olympic. Stupid Tibetans are just trying to ruin China's chance to hold the game successfully. They did whatever they could, resorting to all kinds of shameless and dirty means.

Ironically, many of the western journalists are as much shameless. They keep producing reports claiming that China has used the wrong method to resolve the crisis, and that China should not merely suppress the rioters by force.

Then how? The stupid Dalai Lama is the root of the problem. The fucking Tibetans lost their mind. They right now are only focusing on how to force the Chinese government compromise by threatening to make all the efforts the Chinese have done for the Olympic vanish into nothing like soap bubbles?

Every Chinese who really love his country should condemn those villains who are endeavoring to put China into a negative light.

Those fucking stupid Western journalists who just want to turn the Beijing Olympic into a joke, and those mindless Tibetans. They should all be slaughtered.

Our troops have done so much trying to pacify Tibet. Yet in those western reports they are kind of described as people starting the riots. It's unfair. What do they want by making all these untrue reports? Where's their basic morality as journalists? They describe Chinese governments' letting them see videos of soldiers hurt badly and killed as a form of intense propaganda. That's bullshit. What do they think should be done? Maybe they'll only be satisfied if Chinese government just declares all the sacrifice made by those patriotic soldiers as reckless behavior. But that's impossible, because we Chinese are much more righteous than them. We are willing to defend our country by all means.

I pity those who people with evil intention. Their effort is in vain.

I have a dream

I have to admit that, dreams rarely come true, at least for me.
All through the time I know life is a journey. I know I can control it, I can either make it shine or make it a failure.
But most of the time I can't find a lighthouse. I can't find the right direction. Two ways ahead of me and I have to make a decision. It's comfortable to stay at rest but that's really a waste of time. Sooner or later I'll have to make a decision. So many people have chosen their way in front of me so how can I just remain stationary? My curiosity will push the journey forward. My common sense of following others also promotes the journey.
So that's something I'll have to do. Make decision, go forward.
There's equal chance of rightness and wrongness of my choice. Once chosen, I'll have to go along. There's nothing such as changing path halfway. Once I find it wrong, I'll have to go back to the last checkpoint and restart my journey.
The thing is, I somehow hate to admit that I'm wrong. I'm unwilling to go back. Rather I would just follow the wrong way and endure whatever torture there may be.
So I'm just making myself weaker and less and less confident, making the journey harsher.
And then I complain to everyone I can reach. I tell them how poor I am. I cry and shout to heart content to just ask for a solution. Which is my next direction.
No one can help me, even if they want. To put it straightforward, I have to endure the outcome.


Too many things now. Too much, too messy, too hard to choose.
Sometimes I know I'm naive. I value my face more than anything else yet I keep doing stupid things.
But then these things are too minor to be cared about.

I want to leave Singapore. I want to go to US. But to me this could only be a dream. How far can I go? I don't know. There are too many perfect students here. Sometimes I tell myself not to even dream about competing with them. Then my conscience starts to condemn me. Have you even tried? Isn't there a saying that nothing is impossible if you try your best? So if I try my best to study, can I really go to US?

I wonder, when I can't even put all my concentration to academics. Success？Going to US? They don't make sense. Never.

So I'm disappointed. My conscience accuses me of slacking, while my body enjoys the break. Gosh, I hate this. Contradiction.

See I've written so much...

At this moment, let me make a promise. I'll try my best to study. I'll use as much as my time. As for all those competitions, I just try.

Listen to me. Never show to others you're the weaker. You think they'll pity you? You dream to get some support from them? That's impossible! It's your life. Others will only laugh at you. They'll despise you from the bottom of their hearts. Is this what you want? Not being able to stand straight?

Just tell yourself, life goes on. Really. Try your best but don't take the results into heart too much. Learn, and grow.

Still, after saying all these encouragement, I don't really think I can do much. Still, to me, to say is much easier than to do. But then, to do something you never need to say it out. Let me declare that all the things above are rubbish, and that I can't follow just because I want to follow. So reality is still unchanged.

But I feel much better, after writing all these meaningless rubbish. By the way, I like writing in this way.

Go on. For tomorrow I can stay with my parents and my friends. In case you don't know, Meng, you have been such an important reason for me to carry on. I don't know how long can friendship lasts, especially after so many years of departing. Even if it's another dream, I would carry on for it.

I would try, for the sake of realizing my dream, or simply to keep me proud of myself, to keep my head up.
为自己争口气

Random thoughts

在每个我感到寂寞的时刻 很多人生感慨便随之滋生 怎么说呢 什么是对和错 怎样在这个世界生存下去 这都是我的问题 也许我根本不可能找出答案 Sometimes I think I must be talented in some way but immediately I'll deny this because I don't find anything special in me.But somehow inside my mind I still wish to be someone special. I keep doing this. Bon Jovi told me that everyone is special in their own way. But I don't seem to find any.

No country for old men

Posted by Dave Hopkirk NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN is an ALLEGORY. The title is from the first line of Sailing to Byzantium by William Butler Yeats, a poet classically trained and considered by many to be the greatest 20th Century poet. Death is Anton Chigurh. His hair style (hood-ish, shroud-ish) and black clothing suggest Death. Death kills the innocent as well as the guilty and has his own set of rules. When the witness to the high-rise killing asks, “Are you going to kill me?” Death answers, “It depends. Do you see me?” When the kids on the bicycles help him after the car accident he tells them, “You didn't see me.” If you see Death, you die; if not, you may live. Chigurh seems to come and go at will and seems to know where Moss is without trying very hard. His rules are his rules and they seem arbitrary and random. He is referred to by the sheriff as a “ghost” and he seems to be able to go wherever he pleases. Death kills with a cattle stun gun, almost like a member of the clergy administering a cross to the forehead of a parishoner. Death is often portrayed as a hooded figure with a scythe; in this case he's a “hooded” figure with a cattle stun gun. Man is Llewellen Moss, part sinner, part saint. He is offered a deal with Death when Death offers to ignore his wife but take him. Instead, Llewellen challenges Death and chooses declines the offer. This is straight Faustian bargaining. By declining Death's “This is the best deal you're gonna get” Moss signs not only his own death warrant but his wife's, too. Llewellen challenges Death to a showdown and when his wife tells the sheriff, “He won't quit, neither. Never has.” the audience expects a later showdown because we've been trained to see the protagonist take on the antagonist at the climax of a story — but before that can happen life's randomness gets in the way and the Mexicans kill him. This is the major turn in the movie and the one that takes the sail out of the audience, which has been cheering for Man in his struggle against Death without realizing it. Free Will is Carla Jean. She chooses at the end of the film not to allow Death to be random. She has a 50% chance of saving herself but chooses not to avail herself of the opportunity. She is the bravest of the lot, choosing to die by her own decision and not the randomness of Death. The sheriff is the philosopher trying to understand the universe. He cannot and is defeated by Death in his attempt. At the movie's end the Sheriff bemoans the fact that God never entered his life. One of God's creatures, Death, was in the Sheriff's life but he didn't realize it (see “Scene with Sheriff” below). The story is the Sheriff's, his quest to understand Life, and the dream he tells at the end of the movie explains that his own father, long dead, has gone before him into the darkness of death and awaits him. Interesting parallel — Moss pays money for a coat as he crosses into Mexico; Chigurh pays the kids money for a shirt after his accident. What is meant by that? Cannot be a coincidence. Chigurh walking away from the accident at the end shows that Death cannot be stopped. It will always walk the streets. It is a part of our existence forever. Scene with the Sheriff and Death at the same hotel room at the same time but the Sheriff does not see Death. This scene is vital — it solidifies the allegory. The Sheriff enters the room but does not see Death and so he does not die. Death sees the sheriff but chooses not to kill him because he's not seen in return. This scene is the “supernatural” scene which signals that we've watching an allegory, that what we've been watching is more than it appears. Why 1980 for the book/film when it was written in 2005? Could it be it was begun then and the author simply chose not to update it? What is the reason? Must be one. Might be nothing more than the author started this 25 years ago and didn't feel like updating it to present times. This is a wonderful movie!

看了《碧血剑》前两集的感觉。。。

造型太垃圾了！
袁承志搞得跟丐帮弟子一样。窦智孔本来也算帅了。怎么一演古装就那么傻啊？那个造型绝对火上浇油，更显其傻。
我还发现黄圣依的脸真的是很长啊。古装扮相一点儿都不美。那个头型，怎么说呢，感觉脸的左右两侧是垂直下来的，跟峭壁一样，而且很深，又没点儿头发遮盖。实在没法说，就是脸长，就是不好看啊。
孙菲菲，就是长相不大气，可以演清纯的民家少女，但是，没有公主的那种高贵气质。真的只是小家碧玉啊。
剩下的角色似乎都不错。焦恩俊造型很符合金蛇郎君的形象，风流倜傥，而且长得就很深情。只不过他还没出来呢，不知道演得如何？萧淑慎，真的是美女，演的又是毒辣的角色，就更有一种致命吸引力。（单看造型，我觉得她都比孙菲菲适合公主）
整体而言，我觉得佘诗曼版的好太多了。关键是，佘诗曼太美了，一笑倾城，再笑倾国。而且她的气质多变，可以演可爱的小女孩，也可以演高贵的公主。天哪，她真得太美了，演技有那么好。在我眼里，她演什么都没人能超越了。
江华，也是标准的夏雪宜。他目光中有一种坚定，一种深情，一种不羁，一种正义。


总而言之，我对张纪中翻拍的金庸剧都大大的鄙视。而且，他到底会不会选演员啊？说真的，大陆这些版本的女主角都不如香港版的，不够脱俗。男主角好像都缺了一种气质。唉，是先入为主的感觉吗？

Wandering between two languages…

Recently I'm just so engrossed in Chinese novels. It all starts when I decide to be an anti-socialist. I don't want to talk to anyone in school but I can't just let myself sit there like an idiot while everyone else is talking to one another happily. So at least I must have something to do. Sending messages is costly, and creating posts for my blog is not applicable all the time because I really don't have so many things to say. Thank god, there's still one thing left. I can download e-books and read. There begins my great e-book journey. I have stored at least 10 different types of book, but I'm only interested in one type.

武侠小说。我已经读了好几本了。当然，跟真正的武侠迷比较起来， I'm at most qualified as a beginner. 说真的，汉语的博大精深让我又一次叹为观止。

刚开始想找些恐怖故事，随即意识到读这种故事就是自己吓自己，长大没出息的表现。于是我毅然转为悬疑小说迷。无奈的是下载了那么多自称悬疑小说的故事，但是大部分都是都市男女的爱情故事，让我大跌眼镜。悬疑内容可谓少之又少，连个陪衬角色都算不上，充其量是个路人甲。有一本还是纯灰姑娘白马王子型的，我看了开头就直接奔结尾，就这都让我牙痒痒的，对这种写文章写到天花乱坠，估计连写灰姑娘的安徒生都会在浪漫程度及不可能程度方面自愧不如，以及极其不负责任给广大平凡如我的少女制造了不可能的美梦的作者实在是嗤之以鼻。

又谈到哪里去了。话说我受朋友推荐读了一本蔡骏的《旋转门》之后，就怀疑此人的那本《荒村公寓》到底是怎么火起来的。《旋转门》给我的感觉就是一个三流写手的作品，逻辑性都不强，而且内容太过老套，仿造，很容易让我想起我看过的几部科幻片，没意思。估计广大观众也觉得没意思，所以这本书封面上写的只能是"《荒村公寓》作者又一力作"之类的话，用来告诉有品牌追逐思想的孩子们这个牌子又出新货了，买吧。It's kind of buying book in Singapore. I'm only attracted by books with "best-seller" on its cover, instead of books with "from the author of the best seller xxx". Because in my opinion, this way of publicity is like telling people this book has nothing attractive inside except that it's from a best-selling author. Well, I'd rather say I'm narrow-minded.

还是没谈到重点上！天呐。让我的思路再凝成一条线吧。Let me just focus. 我读的下一本《相思门》，却引发了我对武侠小说起码到现在还存在的浓厚兴趣。恕我愚昧，经典的武侠小说如金庸，古龙的没度过几本。金庸的我只记得《射雕》，古龙的《陆小凤》倒是给我留下了很深的印象，接着又读了《圆月弯刀》等。让我印象深刻的有两点（我中文尤其是武侠理解能力偏低下，所以感想可笑之处请不要肆无忌惮不给面子的鄙视我）：一是，古龙像金庸一样描写战斗中动作很少，因为他笔下大部分英雄都在刀未出手时，已杀死对方。按书中的说法，就是人刀合一；按读书时我脑海中不由自主浮现出的场面，就是"用眼神杀死你。"二是，古龙酷爱分段，而且都是在极吊胃口的地方分，甩出一个极带有恐怖色彩的否定句让人不由得心中一慌；于是急急把眼神移下，却发现下段也是一句话，肯定句，而且内容呼应上段尾，只是不得不让人无语，大部分都发挥着把上文的恐怖色彩抹去，换成目瞪口呆的无奈之"奇效"。

 

《相思门》中我多多少少看到了其作者妄图模仿《陆小凤》的感觉，就是酷爱分段那方面。其他的一般，但情节却着实不错，尽管逻辑让我。。。在我看了那个作者的一些别的作品后，我就改看步非烟的《剑侠情缘》，此书大部分方面还不好说，"长"却是一大特色，因为我用了看《相思门》三倍的时间看《剑》还没看完。

 

I haven't been writing so much in Chinese for a long time. It's a strange thing. When I'm not writing, I don't feel like writing; but once I force myself to write something, I cannot stop.

 

He Miao, Yu Yao, Liang Xu, Shi Wen, Dantong and I went to NUS for supper yesterday. Actually I was there originally for a meeting. It was supposed to be no more than an hour and started at 1630. But the "passionate" speaker's talk seemed never-ending. He was so slow and yet he never took care of the time. It was late and still he could spare time to tell lame jokes which nearly drove me crazy as I was one and a half hours late for my date. On top of everything, only half of minute of his 3-hour long speech which was made up of half jokes and half laughter was useful to me. To be very serious, I didn't really think he was an effective leader, though, apparently, I had no stand or right to criticize anyone as I myself was not capable at all.

Whenever I'm free, I'll start thinking about him. His name filled my mind. I just can't let it go. I just can't.

So I'll keep myself busy. Yes, this is the way. I'll be back in June. Everything's okay. That's it.

I can't ask...

I'm really afraid. When I met his friend online, all I wished was to ask about him, and yet I dared not.
I can't allow myself to go on like this. I'm falling and there's no end to my suffering.
I want to know something about him. How's the result of his recent exams? How is his life? Of course I can get the info if I want but I'll have to think of the consequences. I'm just disturbing his life. I'm only, and forever, an outsider. I don't want either him or his friends to despise me.

How troublesome! I'll never find a solution. How I wish to see him in June! But what's the point? I keep telling myself there's just no chance. Maybe I care for him because I regard him as a good friend. But really, this reason is never sound.

又做了一次emo的孩子。。。

每次去Raffles，梁旭就很受不了我，说你能不能别再emo了赶快integrate赶快干点正事儿吧。我就很无奈。。。
我估计我这阵子写的posts都能出本“悲伤逆流成河”了。上篇是在情绪不稳定的情况下搞定的，没想到会有这么多朋友读到，仔细想了想，发现astrigue这个名字太明显了。。。
Anyway life goes on.
燕雀焉知鸿鹄之志？我一心想做个“一览众山小”的脱俗之人，却发现自己却在这些本该属于小孩子的烦恼里越陷越深。

It's okay. It's all right.
其实所有的一切都被我放大了，呵呵，所以小题大做了。烦恼抱怨也就是这么产生的吧
但还是谢谢大家的鼓励。

CCA Event Reflection

I've been helping as a facilitator in a CCA event for two days and life has been horrible. In the first morning I got on the wrong bus and it took me around 2 hours to just get to the destination. When I finally arrived at Raffles, I then had a hard time finding others. Worst of all, I failed to be a competent facilitator. I couldn't speak English properly which made me unwilling to communicate with my groupmates. My partner never appeared.
在top school就可以目中无人吗？
On the second day the situation just got worse. One team from the Pioneer secondary quitted. I got one Raffles Girls' School team instead. The game we played required high english pronounciation skills. I know how badly i did and I felt sorry for some of them.
但我却不会对某几个女的感到抱歉。当我还在磕磕绊绊念题的时候，有一个冲着刚走进来的RJC的学长说" she sucks." 这话我听的情楚，但却让我的内疚感消失了。人都是自私的，Yes. I'm shameful for being such a stupid facilitator. 但我更在乎别人对我的羞辱。因此我只觉得心里很轻松，因为我对她们的那些愧疚没了。是啊，在一群没道德的妓女面前，傻子也太高尚了。


This event has brought some more hopelessness to my miserable life. I feel I don't deserve to stay in Astronomy Club.
我看清了自己。我永远是给集体抹黑的人。我控制不了自己的脾气。也许大家都发现了我心理有病。我也没什么脸再见我的club president了。我仍然是那个只会把事情搞砸的笨蛋。我仍然不愿做文明人，只想做随时可以骂人的农民。我突然想毁灭这个世界，突然想破坏所有这里的活动。哈哈，我想起了刘鹏飞。他是第一个跟我说他的理想是把地球毁了的人。当时我鄙视他 现在我和他差不多。 我觉得前途缈茫。在哪里都没我的立足之地，我不想留下再给别人添麻烦了。

洛神——水中仙

长河夕照花依稀
壳中悲鸟别故地
江山怎胜你娇美
美德普照大地

蛾眉淡扫水中仙
孤舟漂泊为见面
苍生只待你一笑
百花千里露红艳

乱世中断肠梦
飘影偏似痛未痛
乱世花
半生耗尽爱未浓

情难许断肠泪
怨秋色要退未退
乱世花
只身往复逐流水

明眸若雪映丹心
空山新雨暂借问
今朝惜别你一笑
教生死也独遗恨

风借问芳草惹不惹恨



当时为了蔡少芬的《洛神》感动了好久 除了马浚伟长得不咋地了点 其他的都好完美

但毕竟是悲剧

非常喜欢主题曲里的词 觉得很感人

剪了头发

不理智的我找了家10块新币的店剪了五分钟。。。效果horrible
当我排着队在店门口等候时，一堆一堆的逛街者向我们投来同情的目光。当时我就感觉跟要上刑场似的。

终于我的头发短了，虽然说我觉得现在比以前更弱智，但是。。。never regret

生活 4

新加坡这两天越来越冷了 6点的时候我被冻醒 发现闹钟指示6点 这个时候神奇的事就发生了 我也不知道是上一夜梦到什么了 突然想到了一个很复杂的数学问题 而且是没有存在过的 就是这个闹钟每小时比正常的表慢多少时间 以致于现在慢了整整一小时 但我一直没有计算答案 而且打开手机确定是不是如我所想的七点 结果我发现就是六点 这让我开始感激冥冥上苍我还能再睡一个小时 于是就毫不犹豫的睡去了

我一次又一次的将痛苦回放 放大

个性特征越来越明显了

随着我的考试分数一再打击我，比如说，我的chemistry 30分才拿了17分；随着我越来越鄙视虚伪的人而越来越不能忍住呕吐，比如说，当那虚伪的某人又带着世人都听得出来是装的的惊慌腔调问我说 怎么办呢我毫无准备的去present老师说我太棒了让我到时候在全校present好恐怖啊 的时候，我尽量抑制住自己想拍屁股走人的冲动，但是还是对她笑不出来，说不出她想要的“你好强啊”四个字。 这个时候，我才觉得，我的确不适合闯新加坡。

华南虎事件

这件事炒得沸沸扬扬。不了解整个过程的我，完全没有立场对这件事做出任何的猜测，评价。
但是，偶然间看到的两篇文章，却让我觉得，社会中还真是有些人，惟恐天下不乱。因为乱了以后他们才能做事后诸葛亮，批评这个批评那个，提高下自己知名度，炒作一下，在网路上露露名，在电视上露露脸。
这个社会我也看透了，就这样了。下面的这篇文章，让我感觉思想政治这门课真的没白开。起码教会了有些自作聪明的人怎么样讲废话才能讲得淋漓尽致，写出满篇看似都充满爱国思想，实际上上过小学会写字的人都系得出来的文章。

“ 被炒的沸沸扬扬的“华南虎”照片风波，本来仅仅是日常工作中的一场“片断剧”，却因为不同的价值观、不同的思维方式、不同的主观意识、不同的出发点和目的的存在，再加上具有“名人效应”的导演，让这场“片断剧”延伸成为了一出“社会问题剧”，从开场到即将落幕，演了一个多月仍未收场。
　　从此次“华南虎”照片真伪而引发的科学论争中，我们不难发现，不同的人物，不同的角色在这出大剧中都有了淋漓尽致的发挥表演。有明者，也有暗者；有正义者，也有邪恶者；有为公者，也有为私者；有沉默寡言者，也有张扬个性者；有见风使舵者，也有认死理者；有为民情怀光明磊落者，也有为个人权维不惜昼夜奋战者。
　　总之，各种不同人物的表演，让我们分清了何谓正义与邪念，丑恶与善美，真诚与虚伪；让我们明白了科学发展，共建和谐的重要。
　　社会中存在着不同的矛盾，存在着意识观念的差异，存在着价值文化的差异而出现的论争本是一件无可厚非、很正常的事情。但任何的论争不能偏离了探讨问题、处理问题、解决问题为目的，不能偏离了以科学发展观为出发点，共建和谐文明这条主线，更不能以主观意志为出发点，像文革时期的文攻武斗，靠猜想、靠假设、靠社会八卦，瞒天过海地打棒子、扣帽子行事，惟我独尊，把问题人为地去扩大化，去外延化，把技术层面的观点分歧，当成了复杂的社会问题去争论、去处理，这不是科学解决问题的观点，这是一种极端自私、个人英雄主义、个人冒险主义行为。这种风气属于歪风邪气，不利于和谐社会的构建，不利于科学的学术研究，不利于共建小康社会的伟业。每一个有文化、有思想、有社会意识、有道德价值观念的人，应该擦亮眼睛，克制和抵制这种风气的助长和蔓延。
　　从此次“华南虎”照片而引发的科学论争中，我们应该尊重那些为探寻科学真理而锲而不舍的真正的社会科技人士，我们应该肯定和颂扬那些为百姓致富、为保护环境、为社会发展在无私奉献的人们。一切为百姓利益谋福利的人，一切为社会利益而无私追求的人，一切为追求科学真谛而无私奉献的人，一切为共建和谐而默默追求的人，都是有思想、有觉悟、有道德观念、有奉献精神的时代真正的英雄，都是值得我们崇拜和尊重和学习的。”



在我看来，这个作者，纯粹是没话找话，没事找事。好不容易出现了一点可供争议的事，他就发现，妈呀，当个傻逼和讲些废话，这不就是我人生中的目标吗？ 于是，就激情澎湃的写出了这篇受过素质教育的人都会写的文章。

还有一采访。
“记者：最近你出门了吗？
周正龙：我去年腊月二十才回来，去了北京，还有西安。
记者：忙着去领奖吧。除了陕西省林业厅奖的两万元，你还领了多少奖金？
周正龙：那些其实只够路费。去北京一趟，一来一回，1000多元钱总要吧。奖并不重要，而是证明华南虎存在。我现在还愿意去其他地方找老虎，华南虎应该不只是在镇坪有，在其他很多地方应该都有。
记者：你感觉自己是名人了吗？
周正龙：那不是。我就是想把老虎的冤案给说清了。 ”

看了之后让我感觉，不把事做绝，不死命的挖苦人家落井下石，不绞尽脑汁昧着良心的写出让有权有钱的一方看着爽的文章，怎么能当记者呢？所以，要是想找个有职业道德的差事，千万别当记者。

生活 3

某天在镜子里看见自己的圆脸，突然觉得自己的脸不是很圆，而是方方的只不过棱角边缘被柔化了罢了。于是突然想起了和梁旭的一次互相鄙视。我毫不节制地指着他的脸狂笑三声，大喊“长的难看不是你的错，出来吓人就是你的错了“。梁旭同学当时就面红耳赤，然后在一阵沉默后，说出了一句让我无比佩服他智商的话，“长的圆不是你的错，出来滚就是你的错了…“。
然后我发现了个存在于见过面但不熟的人们间的怪现象。当彼此抬头马上发现十米开外站着个面熟的人时 ，大家的第一反应都是把目光转向旁边，然后不看前方走路直到与对方相隔一米，然后立刻转头装出一副“真巧啊遇见你了“的样子，然后目光含笑的打招呼，然后离开，同时背过脸叹一口气…

生活2

最近寄宿学校里出现了一批食物中毒事件，并且受害者都是一群一群的。。因此傻逼都看得出来这和食堂脱不了干系。
但是很明显，智商低于傻逼的还是大有人在的。因为电梯里的布告栏很快就贴出了新告示，please kindly throw away your expired food to prevent food poisioning.
这是在说，前面中毒的一批scholars智商都不高，过期的食物还是敢吃，而且还是成群结队的吃。一下子就把这么多群人的智商定位在了uncommon低于世界平均水平档。
我无话可说。

翻了一下最近的日志，发现大部分都是在发牢骚。这没什么，但是竟然使用中文法的牢骚。这让我不禁开始质疑我自己。我这是什么行为？这就是在浪费时间浪费生命浪费新加坡人交的税的行为，充分显示了我有道德品质下降的倾向。

我不禁感到万分羞愧。仔细回想一下，来到新加坡后，唯一学顺了的一句英语，就是"shit ".
这个词已经达到了我每天不可不用不用就像少了什么似的的级别了。剩下的，实在不乐观。

比如，昨天我英文考得一塌糊涂，但是内心毫无内疚自责之感。

好在，今天的英文课已经对我警钟长鸣了。纵观一张作业题，90% 的单词我都不认识。我瞬间感到内心发虚，冷汗直流，心跳加速，头重脚轻，很想钻到空调里灭了我自己。

想想我最近还真是别的事没干成，就看了3,4 本中文小说。罪过啊。能怎么办呢，《像少年啦飞驰》是我不知看了多少遍但是怎么看都会傻笑的书。我得承认我看的书在我自己看来都没什么关系国家存亡，人类生存的意义，国际政治局势之类的。

也许这意味着我就是个庸俗的人。哎

早上有游泳课。我们班十几个女的就我一个下水。身材臃肿的我穿着块被撑破的泳衣，无比白痴的跟在一群裸着上身的男的后面作热身运动。那一刻我只有一个想法，
为什么这些男的比女的都瘦？

然后我这个不会游泳的家伙就屁颠屁颠地跟着老师下1.2米深的儿童池学潜水。

那一刻我突然感觉生活无比有希望，前途无比光明。

然而，几秒钟之后，我断定以上想法的产生是因为脑细胞被池水冻得薰得不好好工作开始擅离职守开小差了。

于是我就又陷入无限的悲伤中。原来出路还是隐藏在浓雾中。

生活 1

依稀记着，我小学四年级看完《贾里贾梅》系列后，就心情澎湃。当时自以为自己在小小的塔尔坡小学成绩拔尖，就前途无量，以至于我当时谈起清华北大的时候就一副满不在乎的样子，觉得真是搞笑我这种人不进清华谁能进清华。（现在超级鄙视自己那时候）
所以我当时对自己的职业有无限憧憬。作家？容易。
然后傻不啦叽的我就拿出来了一个长7cm, 宽5cm, 高3cm的记事本。（当时这是我珍藏的本子，上面印了“记事本”三个字）。在第一页写上了“五年级女生”五个字，深信当我把这本子写满的那一天，就是另一部轰动中国文坛的作品产生之时，而且伴随之的名誉，还有“中国的新一代儿童作家”。
我的作家梦，是在五年级结束时我发现自己的本子上出了题目什么都没有的时候破碎的。我的清华北大梦，是在上了初中后，终于知道中国是世界第一大国人口占世界6分之1想考大学的强人都数不过来更何况考清华北大的呢的时候。
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扯扯就歪了。现在本人正在对着一部很傻逼的电视剧打字。我心中对新加坡剧只有一句评价，没有最傻逼，只有更傻逼。我眼前的这部就是成功打遍天下无敌手最新挑战傻逼电视剧宝座成功的。剧情大致是，女主角喜欢一个男的，但这个男的开始有女朋友，然后女主角就撮合他俩。然后他俩分了那男的又喜欢另一个女的，然后女主角又撮合他俩。。。正在撮合中，未完待续。不过用脚趾头想都知道他们俩最后会在一起。。。
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然后我就要谈谈我现在的生活。于丹讲过豪猪的哲学。离太近会刺到对方，离太远却没法取暖。我现在所处的阶段，就是没法取暖的阶段。所以我不会为周围人的情绪变化而勉强自己。所以当一个比我强的但是我很受不了的人在今天考完变态的英文后一直唠叨自己考得不好的时候我做到了完完全全的igore她。我知道她英文比我棒多了，我知道她的那些错误都是我肯定错了的，而她没错的我也大部分都错了。但是我无动于衷，没有想大骂她虚伪的感觉。只是感觉这人怎么样没跟我没什么关系。
但我并不是说跟所有人离很远是好事。其实，偶尔被人刺刺也无所谓。没有的话生活就单调了，孤僻了，容易自闭。
可是现在没有啊。我可以关心的人，都在别的学校，别的国家。我关心的范围广，但却没有力所能及的事可做。
我只有祝福。
­
写了一个小时，好开心啊。
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最近看到了一个很好的比喻句。觉得好像我自己。
“我就像被削了皮的小黄瓜一样脆弱无力，摇摇晃晃。”

摩羯座是这样的。。。

无意中浏览到了一篇有关星座的文章 发现我真的是摩羯的典型啊 以下是引言
“ 倾向制造爱情悲剧的摩羯座诞生者之人生易产生一些现象，也就是说摩羯座之爱情能量低落会有下列几点之表现：
1、从小悲观忧郁，凡事看坏的一面，不看好的一面，遇到小事，也把它放大压力，虽然也想全力以赴，但往往准备周全，勇气不够、临场退却。
2、年轻时就有自闭倾向，或是时常忧郁而想毁灭自己的生命。
3、过了三十岁之后，仍然一事无成，沉溺在以往的忧愁之中，运势也不见得好转，
4、结婚之后，所生的长子，与自己关系不睦，甚至也是多病多灾，好像自己儿时翻版。
5、过了五十岁却仍不知自己要做什么，本身就要自我检讨，却还在自怨自艾，因为该负责任的人其实是自己，但却到处怨天尤人。 ”

我现在 属于 Category 2

有点危机感了