Today during my CCA, I was scolded again, and was then told that the crash part that I had been practicing for almost a month would be played someone else.
The reason was that I had blown up the new suspended cymbal part.
I didn't say anything. What could I possibly say? I had absolute no stand to comment on everything they did to me. Nor could I resist or defend myself.
I admit that I am stupid and not talented at all in music. And my joining band from the start was a mistake. I should have followed my dream and interest, instead of controlled rigidly by the cruel CCA mark. Up to this stage I could only taste the tragic effect of my stupid choice.
However, I wanna cry out. I could not stand it any longer. I hate them. From the bottom of my heart, I feel that few of the people in my section was kind-hearted.
I feel devastated.
Yet, I could go on. I firmly believe that.
I am always ready to fight with them. I try not to get nervous. They will insult me in whatever way them could, but that would make me even more persevering to hold on my believes.
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